The love I long for doesn't make sense... doesn't even seem real.
Love doesn't seem to be real. Not at all.

It just doesn't seem to exist within my reach.

And Faith.
Faith has no meaning to me.
I have no conceptual understanding of it.

I have let my whole life pass without believing in Faith, trying with every fighting urge to embrace it...
to live by it...
to trust it.
It has always let me down.

First my dear Father,
then Philipe,
then my Me-me're.

All people who were closer to me than flesh to the bone.
All within a year of each other.
Taken.
Stolen. Without warning. All of them. Gone. Forever.
How much easier things would be with them here beside me.
Walking with me. Speaking with me. Comforting me.

Everything happens for a reason.
And That is the one thing that I do have blind faith in.
I refuse be let down.
Again.